Cultivating the [un]believable
As I was driving home from the grocery store, it hit me. A tiny spark of clarity. My mind was swirling with what I wanted to bring to life this year. I feel like I spend so much time focusing on creating goals at the beginning of the year. Getting them clear and then creating action steps to help bring them to life can feel so difficult. Where do you start? How do you know if that is the right goal?
Hear me out…what if there are WAY MORE POSSIBILITIES out there than what you capture in your immediate vision? What if your brain isn’t fully able to register the magnitude of potential outcomes that could happen in just one day, month, or year?
That got me thinking even deeper.
At the very bottom of every goal - scoop away the material objects - you will find one thing that shows up every single time. Can you guess what it is? Yep…feelings. Let’s explore an example. Let’s say you worked really hard to achieve your goal of making $300,000 by the end of the year. All of that money is now sitting in your bank account. Settle into this scenario with me. Really feel that win! It’s not the physical cash sitting in the online bank account that makes the achievement complete. Just because that money is there doesn’t necessarily change your day-to-day life (ok maybe it means you can pay off debt, invest, or buy something special). What really changes are your feelings surrounding that money being there - relief, safety, joy, security, pride, confidence, accomplishment, self-respect, freedom, stability, peace of mind. It’s the feelings that we seek that make it feel real and worthy of all the effort.
If you’re finding it hard to nail down what you want to bring into your life this year, focus on the feelings that you’re yearning for. When you focus on the feelings, it creates space for infinite possibilities, room to change your mind, and room for evolution. Feelings are fertilizer for outcomes that are beyond your wildest imagination. That just plopped right in my head…I hope it resonates.
Creating goals with feelings as the focus means flipping the traditional process on its head: instead of starting with what you want to achieve, you start with how you want to feel…and let outcomes emerge from there. This keeps the field open to so much more.
Here are several reflective prompts to use as you look forward and invite the [un]believable into your life:
When I get quiet, where does my mind wander? How do I feel when I’m there?
If I set aside specific outcomes and achievements, what feelings am I truly craving more of in my life right now? Why do they matter to me at this time in my life?
When I imagine myself one year from today feeling deeply fulfilled, safe, and proud, what does a normal day in that life feel like from the inside out?
What expectations, limitations, or “practical” thinking might be narrowing my ability to see the full range of possibilities available to me? What if those weren’t true?
If I allowed my desires to evolve freely - without committing to a single rigid goal - what feelings would I give myself permission to prioritize again and again?
How might my decisions, habits, and self-talk shift if I trusted that focusing on feelings is not avoiding goals, but fertilizing outcomes beyond what I can currently imagine?
If these questions stirred something in you but didn’t quite land as clear answers, that’s not a problem. That’s the point. Coming back to the feelings you desire can feel a bit awkward or even uncomfortable. Here is a list of feelings to ponder as you continue exploring what is important to you:
Belonging
Safety
Joy
Confidence
Peace
Empowerment
Love
Stability
Clarity
Trust
Self-respect
Intimacy
Acceptance
Connection
Freedom
Compassion
Inner calm
Authenticity
Grounding
Balance
Creating clear and meaningful goals or intentions doesn’t come from forcing decisions just to have them. It comes from slowing down, listening differently, paying attention to your intuition and giving yourself permission to want what you actually want. You are here to live this life in ways that feel meaningful, expansive, and deeply satisfying. So instead of asking what you should want, try asking yourself:
What do I need more of to feel that bubbling goodness in my life?