Living with the dark & the light

My fingers smell like my childhood – a woodsy scent of bergamot, lime, orange and frankincense. A bit ago I messed around with one of my essential oil blends and unbeknownst to me it got on my fingers. After a while I put my hand on my face and in one sniff I instantly flashed back in time. Whoosh! A wash of my life between ages 10-14 served itself to the front row of my brain. I remember sitting on the sofa with my legs crisscrossed. It’s Saturday morning and I’m watching TV. The living room is all mine, and I am free to do whatever I want. I can eat a bowl of cereal (Cocoa Puffs was my fave), make French toast or change the TV channel over and over. Strangely, this vision isn’t linear. It’s like a download of everything at once. My mind is flashing between different memories that go from younger to older, playing with toys to listening to music on my boom box – which I still have decades later. I didn’t feel a care in the world.

After a few minutes, I popped back into the current moment. I feel a cozy blanket of goodness surrounding me and lovely waves of gratitude as I remember the slow, easy days of summer during those younger years. Fast forward to now, there is a lot happening in my world. There are birthdays to celebrate, summer vacations, work trips and visits from family/friends. However, as with any day, there is a flood of real life - work meetings, chores, problems to solve, and to-do lists that incessantly regenerate. I hesitate to look at the news or social media. The insanity of all that is going on in our world is real and in-your-face. It’s quite easy to feel overwhelmed, confused, scared, angry or many other heavy emotions. How do I know which emotions are mine and which are coming from the chaos or others around me? Does it even matter? I want those moments of freedom and lightness back that I felt as a child. I want to have nothing to worry about other than making my bed, doing the dishes, choosing my outfit for the day, or deciding if I should ride my bike or roller skate to my friend’s house.

This got me thinking. In all the years I have been alive, there has always been a need to balance all that is happening in my world and the broader world itself. There has never been some magical state of bliss that I experienced. Our world is rooted in duality: light and dark, joy and sadness, life and death. There is no way to avoid experiencing only parts of these complementary forces. In fact, without death, it’s very difficult to appreciate and value the fragility of life. Without sadness, we can’t truly measure joy. The truth is…to fully live, we must feel the full spectrum of emotions, not only the pleasurable half. Peace doesn’t come from eliminating one side of the spectrum – it comes from learning to be present with both. All of the deep sadness or sheer joy provides critical information that helps you measure experiences. As children, we may not have had the language for it, but we lived through deep contrast even then. Now, as adults navigating this incredibly complex world can feel heavier, sharper and harder to ignore. But we don’t always need to numb out or disconnect. We just need gentle ways to stay anchored, to remember our wholeness, and to find peace in the midst of it all.

Here are a few simple but powerful practices to help you manage the emotional waves that come with living in a world of duality:

1 | Daily Grounding Breaths – Grounding your energy calms emotional overwhelm. Sit or stand with both feet on the ground (barefoot in the grass is even better). Inhale slowly for 4 counts, hold for 4, exhale for 6-8 counts. Repeat 5-10 times while imagining roots growing down from our body into the Earth. Let any intensity flow downward into the earth.

2 | “Both-And” Journaling – Practice integrating conflicting feelings without judging them. Write the sentence: Today, I feel _____ and _____. Fill in the blanks (example – grateful and tired, hopeful and afraid). Allow yourself to sit with the truth of both. No fixing – just witnessing.

3 | Hold a Balancing Stone – Crystals provide physical and energetic support during the natural swings of emotions. For example, you can try:

• Labradorite – for inner strength during change.

• Lepidolite – for emotional regulation.

• Smoky quartz – for grounding and clearing

Hold the stone in your palm while breathing slowly or while walking outdoors.

4 | Nature Check-In – Being in nature is a powerful way to embrace duality because it’s literally everywhere. Spend 5 minutes noticing contrasts. Look at a flower wilting next to one blooming. A cloudy sky with rays of sunlight. Breathe it all in. Whisper – I can hold opposites too!

Since you were born, you have been holding the good and the bad, the sunshine and the storms, the happy and the sad, the scary and the calm. Whether you’re moving through significant challenges right now or feeling like you’re vibing high with all that is happening in your life, you can exist with the constant dualities. If the balance feels off and you’re feeling the overwhelm, shift your pattern and tap into the practices that bring you back into your body, into this moment. Small grounding practices, moments in nature, or the scent of something familiar can reconnect us to that inner freedom. The magic isn't in escaping reality — it's in remembering that wholeness comes from embracing all of it.